Asking your partner for more quality time away from screens is a delicate but important conversation that can strengthen your relationship and deepen your connection. The key is to approach the topic with kindness, clarity, and a focus on shared benefits rather than criticism or blame. Here is a detailed guide on how to do this in a simple and effective way.
Start by choosing the right moment to talk. Avoid bringing it up when either of you is tired, stressed, or distracted by devices. Instead, find a calm, relaxed time when you can both focus on the conversation without interruptions. This shows respect for your partner’s feelings and increases the chance of a positive response.
Begin the conversation with a positive tone. Express appreciation for your partner and the time you already spend together. For example, you might say, “I really enjoy the moments we share, and I want us to have even more meaningful time together.” This sets a collaborative mood rather than making your partner feel defensive.
Use “I” statements to communicate your feelings and needs clearly without sounding accusatory. Instead of saying, “You spend too much time on your phone,” try, “I feel a bit disconnected when we are both on our devices, and I would love to spend more time just focusing on each other.” This helps your partner understand your perspective without feeling blamed.
Explain why quality time away from screens matters to you. You can mention how it helps you feel closer, improves communication, or simply makes your time together more enjoyable. Sharing your reasons makes your request more relatable and heartfelt.
Invite your partner to share their thoughts and feelings about screen time and quality time. Ask open-ended questions like, “How do you feel about the time we spend on our phones or watching TV?” or “What activities would you enjoy doing together without screens?” This encourages dialogue and shows that you value their input.
Suggest specific, manageable changes rather than vague requests. For example, propose setting aside certain times or activities as “screen-free zones,” such as during dinner, before bed, or on a weekly date night. You could say, “What if we put our phones away during dinner and just talk?” or “How about we have a weekly date night where we turn off all devices?” Concrete ideas make it easier for both of you to commit.
Offer to try new activities together that naturally reduce screen time. This could be cooking a meal, going for a walk, playing a board game, or exploring a new hobby. Doing something enjoyable together creates positive associations with screen-free time and strengthens your bond.
Be patient and flexible. Change can be challenging, especially if screen habits are deeply ingrained. Acknowledge that it might take time to adjust and that occasional slip-ups are normal. Emphasize that the goal is to improve your connection, not to criticize or control.
Reinforce the benefits as you go along. Notice and mention moments when you feel especially connected or happy during screen-free time. Positive reinforcement encourages your partner to keep up the new habits.
If your partner is resistant or unsure, try to understand their perspective without arguing. They may rely on screens for relaxation or social connection. Discuss ways to balance those needs with your desire for quality time, perhaps by scheduling specific times for both screen use and screen-free interaction.
Remember that communication itself is a form of quality time. Even brief, meaningful conversations about your day, feelings, or shared interests can help you feel closer. Try to replace routine, logistical talk with curious, open-ended questions that invite deeper sharing.
Finally, lead by example. Show your commitment to spending less time on screens by putting your own devices away during agreed-upon times. Your actions will speak louder than words and encourage your partner to do the same.
By approaching the conversation with empathy, clarity, and practical suggestions, you can ask your partner for more quality time away from screens in a way that feels natural and positive. This effort can help both of you reconnect, enjoy each other’s company more fully, and build a stronger, healthier relationship.
