In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in our own lives and lose touch with the people and traditions that are important to us. This is a central theme in Lulu Wang’s 2019 film, The Farewell. The emotional and poignant story follows a Chinese-American woman, Billi, who learns that her beloved grandmother, Nai Nai, has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. However, instead of telling Nai Nai the truth, her family decides to keep the diagnosis a secret and gather for a fake wedding as an excuse to spend time with her before she passes away.
The film explores the complexities of family dynamics, cultural expectations, and the universal experience of loss. Through its heartfelt storytelling and strong performances, The Farewell highlights the importance of family, the impact of cultural traditions, and the bittersweet nature of saying goodbye.
Family is at the heart of The Farewell, and the film beautifully portrays the bonds and conflicts that exist within a family unit. As Billi struggles with her emotions and the decision to keep her grandmother’s illness a secret from her, she also grapples with her strained relationship with her parents. Like many children of immigrants, Billi feels disconnected from her Chinese heritage and struggles to find her place in both American and Chinese culture. Her parents’ decision to keep the diagnosis a secret adds another layer of tension to their already strained relationship.
However, despite their differences, the family comes together in their love for Nai Nai. The scenes of them gathered around the dinner table, sharing stories and laughter, are full of warmth and nostalgia. It’s a reminder that no matter how complicated our relationships with our families may be, they are still our support system and source of strength during difficult times.
The cultural aspect of The Farewell is also a significant part of the film’s storyline. As an Asian-American filmmaker, Wang brings a unique perspective to the story, which is based on her own experiences. The film explores the cultural differences between the East and West, particularly in how they approach the concept of death.
In Chinese culture, it is customary to hide a diagnosis from a terminally ill family member to spare them from the emotional burden and allow them to live out their remaining days in peace. This tradition is rooted in the belief that a person’s state of mind can affect their physical health. The film also portrays the cultural expectation of placing the family’s needs above individual desires, as seen in Nai Nai’s children’s decision to conceal her diagnosis.
Through Billi’s character, the film also explores the conflict between individualism and collectivism in Chinese society. Billi’s Western upbringing and values clash with her family’s collective decision-making process, causing her to question her role in the family and her sense of identity.
The Farewell also delves into the universal experience of loss and the various ways people cope with it. While Nai Nai’s family tries to shield her from the truth, Billi struggles with the idea of not being able to say goodbye to her grandmother. As she spends time with Nai Nai, she realizes that perhaps keeping the diagnosis a secret is not only for her grandmother’s benefit but also for their own.
The film beautifully captures the conflicting emotions of grief, from denial and anger to acceptance and love. It also shows how different members of the family cope with loss in their unique ways, highlighting the importance of understanding and respecting individual coping mechanisms.
In conclusion, The Farewell is a heartfelt and poignant film that explores the complexities of family, culture, and loss. Through its relatable characters and universal themes, it resonates with audiences worldwide and reminds us of the importance of cherishing our loved ones and staying connected to our roots. The film is a beautiful tribute to Wang’s own family and a celebration of the bond that ties us all together as human beings.
