How to Talk About Wanting a Life Outside Shows and Movies
Many people find themselves caught in a pattern where entertainment dominates their free time and conversations. Whether you’re in a relationship, friendship, or family dynamic, expressing your desire for a life beyond screens and streaming services can feel awkward or even confrontational. The good news is that this conversation doesn’t have to be difficult. With the right approach, you can communicate your needs clearly while helping others understand why this matters to you.
Understanding Why This Conversation Matters
Before you even start talking to someone about wanting more than just shows and movies in your life, it helps to understand why this conversation is important. When entertainment becomes the primary focus of your time together, it can prevent deeper connections from forming. Real relationships thrive on shared experiences, meaningful dialogue, and activities that engage both your body and mind in different ways.
The problem with relying too heavily on shows and movies is that they create a passive form of togetherness. You’re sitting next to someone, but you’re not really interacting with them. Your attention is divided between the screen and the person beside you. This can leave both people feeling somewhat disconnected, even though you’re spending time together.
When you want to talk about needing more from your relationships than just entertainment consumption, you’re really asking for deeper connection, more active engagement, and a fuller life experience. This is a legitimate need, and it deserves to be communicated respectfully.
Identifying What You Actually Want
The first step in having this conversation is getting clear on what you actually want instead of shows and movies. Don’t just say you want “more” without knowing what that means. Think about specific activities or types of interactions that would feel fulfilling to you.
Do you want to have deeper conversations about real life issues? Do you want to engage in activities together like cooking, hiking, board games, or sports? Do you want to pursue hobbies or learn new skills together? Do you want to spend time outdoors or travel to new places? Do you want to volunteer or work on projects that matter to you?
When you can articulate what you’re looking for, the conversation becomes much easier. Instead of saying “I don’t want to watch so many shows,” you can say “I’d really love to spend more time cooking together” or “I think it would be great if we could have deeper conversations about what’s really going on in our lives.”
This clarity also helps you understand whether your desire for a different lifestyle is about the specific person you’re with or about your own needs. Sometimes we blame entertainment for keeping us from connection when really we’re just not spending enough quality time with the right people.
Choosing the Right Time and Place
Timing matters enormously when you’re bringing up something that could be perceived as criticism. Don’t try to have this conversation while you’re both sitting down to watch a show. That’s not the moment. Also avoid bringing it up when either of you is stressed, tired, or in a bad mood.
The best time to have this conversation is when you’re both calm, relatively free from distractions, and in a good place emotionally. Some people find that having this talk while doing an activity together works well. Going for a walk, sitting at a coffee shop, or even cooking together can create a relaxed atmosphere where the conversation feels natural rather than confrontational.
Make sure you’re in a private space where you won’t be interrupted. You want the other person to feel like you’re giving them your full attention and that this conversation is important enough to deserve dedicated time.
Starting the Conversation Gently
How you begin this conversation sets the tone for everything that follows. You want to avoid sounding accusatory or judgmental. The goal is not to make the other person feel bad about their entertainment habits but to express your own needs and desires.
A good way to start is by acknowledging that you enjoy shows and movies too. This prevents the conversation from feeling like an attack on something they love. You might say something like “I really do enjoy watching shows with you, and I’m not saying we should stop doing that entirely. But I’ve been thinking about how I’d like to spend more time doing other things together as well.”
Another approach is to focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want. Instead of “I’m tired of just watching TV all the time,” try “I’d really love to spend more time having deeper conversations with you” or “I think it would be fun to try some new activities together.”
You could also frame it as something you’ve been feeling about yourself rather than about the other person. “I’ve realized that I need more variety in how I spend my time” or “I’ve been thinking about how I want to be more active and engaged in my life” puts the focus on your own growth rather than on their behavior.
Explaining Your Reasons Without Blame
Once you’ve opened the conversation, you’ll want to explain why this matters to you. Again, the key is to avoid making the other person feel blamed or judged. You’re not saying they’re wrong for enjoying shows and movies. You’re saying that you need something different.
You might explain that you feel more connected to people when you’re doing things together rather than just watching something. You could mention that you want to feel more engaged and active in your life. You might talk about wanting to learn new things, pursue interests, or have more meaningful conversations.
Be specific about how the current situation is affecting you. Do you feel like you’re not connecting as deeply as you’d like? Do you feel like you’re not pursuing your own interests? Do you feel like your life is passing you by? Do you feel like you’re not growing or developing as a person?
When you explain your reasons, use “I” statements rather than “you” statements. Say “I feel like I’m not growing” rather than “You’re keeping me from growing.” Say “I want to feel more connected” rather than “You’re not connecting with me.” This approach is less likely to put the other person on the defensive.
Addressing Potential Resistance
Not everyone will immediately embrace the idea of changing their entertainment habits. Some people might feel defensive, worried that you’re criticizing them, or concerned that you’re trying to force them to do things they don’t enjoy. Be prepared for some resistance.
If someone responds negatively, don’t get defensive yourself. Stay calm and try to understand their perspective. Maybe they use shows and movies as a way to relax and decompress. Maybe they’re anxious about trying new activities. Maybe they’re worried about not being good at other things. Understanding their concerns will help you address them more effectively.
You might need to reassure them that you’re not trying to eliminate entertainment from your life together. You’re just looking for more balance. You could suggest that you still have movie nights, but maybe not every single night. You could propose that you add other activities alongside the entertainment rather than replacing it entirely.
If someone is resistant because they’re anxious about trying new things, you could offer to take the lead in planning
